Of Torn Hearts
by Know it all hermione
Summary: Suzaku and Euphy are dating,Lelouch has a unrequited love for Suzaku.He does his best to be a good best friend and brother to them,even though he is suffering.Will Lelouch be able to keep up the lie for their happiness or confess to Suzaku how he feels? UP FOR ADOPTION
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This first chapter is a christmas present for a beta of mine , "Kousagi Angel" . I hope you like it! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own nor will I ever own Code Geass.**

**Summary: Suzaku and Euphemia are dating , Lelouch has a unrequited love for Suzaku . During Suzaku's and Euphy's relationship Lelouch does his best to be a good best friend and brother to Suzaku and Euphy , even though he really is suffering . Will Lelouch be able to keep up the lie to the couple just for their happiness or will he confess to Suzaku how he feels ? Pairings - Suzaku/Euphy , Suzaku/Lelouch . Inspired by a Code Geass AMV that I made .**

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Lelouch watched his half sister Princess Euphemia and his best friend Suzaku Kururugi sit close together side by side with jealousy. They and Lelouch were at the park together and Euphemia and Suzaku had been dating for about 6 months now, they had already received Lelouch's approval for the relationship. Lelouch had given them his blessing, despite his strong romantic feelings for Suzaku. He knew that Suzaku and Euphemia were right for each other, what right did he have to deny their love? ... They always looked so happy. Sure it hurt Lelouch deeply whenever he saw them together but he was a guy and Euphemia was a woman, his sister would be able to give Suzaku much more happiness than Lelouch ever could. So whenever he was around the couple he would always make sure that he appeared to be happy for them. Even though it drove him crazy with pain, sadness and jealousy to watch them together.

Countless times that Lelouch could remember he would attempt to confess his feelings to Suzaku, but each and every time he tried he could never get the words out. He just loved Suzaku so much and couldn't bear to tear him apart from the one who made him happy. Besides , what if Suzaku was straight? What if Lelouch confessed and he got revulsion and rejection thrown back at him? He couldn't confess, couldn't let Suzaku know the depth of his love that he held for the Knight.

Lelouch looked towards Euphemia and Suzaku, they were kissing, Lelouch turned his head away. He didn't want to watch them kissing, he got up from his place on the grass and stood up. Lelouch walked towards them, as he walked he arranged a happy expression on his face.

When he reached the pair, Euphy and Suzaku pulled away and Suzaku looked at Lelouch with a happy grin on his face.

"Hey Lelouch, are you heading back now? We were just thinking of going back as well, tomorrow is school afterall." said Suzaku.

Lelouch smiled a fake smile at Suzaku, "Yes, Suzaku, I am going to return back home, I have a lot of assignments that I need to do and I should be getting back to Nunnally. " Lelouch said.

Euphy giggled, "You always leave the school assignments so late Lelouch."

"Yeah, Lulu, don't leave your assignments so late." said Suzaku giving a laugh while intertwining his fingers with the pink haired girl beside him.

"Yeah, I guess I just have more important things to do than my assignments." Lelouch said.

Lelouch smiled, "Don't worry, I always get them all in time anyway and I always get perfect grades." said Lelouch.

Lelouch then went back to the mansion that he lived in with his younger sister Nunnally. He took the train there and thought back to when he first tried to tell Suzaku of his feelings. That day he couldn't go through with it, as it was also the day that he had found out that Suzaku was going out with Euphemia. That day Lelouch's happiness and excitement had turned to sadness and heartbreak, though he hadn't allowed it to show on his face. Now Lelouch was used to feeling waves of sadness washing through his insides every time he saw Suzaku and Euphemia holding hands or kissing. He was used to lying to Suzaku, used to crying himself to sleep every single night. The heartache that he suffered never went away, whenever he saw Suzaku and Euphy together, the pain never lessened. It just got worse and worse and as more time went on he had gotten better at hiding his true feelings, hiding them behind a mask.

When he got back home, only then did he allow himself to show what he felt. He gave a sigh and went to his bedroom to start on his assignments and then to spend time with Nunnally. At least at home he didn't have to hide how he felt, apart from all he had done as Zero he didn't have any secrets from Nunnally. Nunnally had heard the sadness in his voice one day and had gotten him to talk to her about it. So it was only with his closest family that he could feel comfort.

When he was satisfied with the progress he had made with his school work he headed to the dining room. He smiled when he saw Nunnally at the table.

"Hello Nunnally" Lelouch said quietly when he reached his little sister.

A gentle smile appeared on Nunnally's kind young face, "Lelouch welcome home".

Lelouch smiled gently at her and sat down at the table on the seat across from her. He gave a sigh and stared down at the table, his black hair covering his face and hiding the tears that had started to escape from his eyes. After a moment his tears trailed down all the way down his face and made a tiny, almost inaudible sound as it landed upon the table.

Nunnally frowned, her smile fading away as her big brother cried silently more tears following the first few tears she could hear just barely.

"Onii – Sama, you went to see Suzaku and Euphy again didn't you?" she said softly, with worry and concern in her voice.

Lelouch raised his head, his eyes widened and he stared at Nunnally, he resisted the urge to turn away from her when he saw her concerned expression. More tears started to form, he didn't like seeing how much he worried Nunnally.

"Yes" he said, hating how upset he sounded.

There was a short silence.

Nunnally reached one of her hands blindly across the table, "Lelouch, please don't cry and please don't see Suzaku and Euphy anymore. You always come home upset, I can tell you do"

Lelouch gave a sigh and a sad smile appeared on his face. He gently took hold of his little sister's hand and said "I apologize Nunnally but I cannot do that, I love him far too much. You will understand when you are older."

"But Lelouch-"protested Nunnally softly.

But Lelouch wouldn't allow any room for further discussion, not with this; it was his choice to still have Suzaku in his life even though it wasn't the way he wanted. At least he could still see Suzaku and be near him even though it caused him great pain. He didn't think there was a possibility for Suzaku to love him when he had a girlfriend as beautiful and kind as Euphy. But for now just been near the one who had his heart was enough for now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own nor will I ever own Code Geass**

**Author's Note: This was beta'd by Maiden of Books**

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At school the next day Lelouch had his head resting on a book that lay in front of him. He was helping Milly, Shirley and the others plan a Valentine's event. He wasn't really paying much attention to what the others were saying though, as he was very tired. He had slept very little the night before. Lelouch vaguely heard someone calling his name.

Lelouch ignored the person who was calling for him, annoyed, and continued to rest with his head on the desk, his eyes half closed. This behaviour continued on until Lelouch felt what felt like a textbook hit him hard on the top of his head.

"Ow! What was that for?" he said.

He opened his eyes fully and looked up to the person who had hit him with the book. It happened to be Shirley and she was glaring at him. Lelouch raised himself up from the desk.

"Lelouch! You're not supposed to be sleeping. Valentine's Day is soon, we have to be ready for it!" Shirley said with anger in her tone.

"Valentine's Day?"

"Yes Valentine's Day! It's the most romantic day of the year and it's our job to plan it this year!" said Shirley.

Lelouch rubbed his sore head and frowned, "Damn...why does it have to be a Valentine's event that we'll be doing? I hate that holiday," Lelouch muttered quietly to himself.

Milly thanked Shirley for waking up Lelouch and scolding him and then explained how the Valentine's event was going to be set up and what was going to be done on that day.

After school ended for the day, Suzaku offered to walk Lelouch back home. Lelouch gladly accepted the offer, jumping at the chance to spend some time alone with Suzaku. As they walked, Lelouch couldn't help but walk close to Suzaku, their hands almost touching as they went back and forth as Suzaku and himself walked towards Lelouch's home. Suzaku didn't notice how close their hands were together, nor did he notice the light blush across Lelouch's face or the way Lelouch was smiling.

Lelouch glanced beside him and decided to break the silence to ask, "Suzaku...are...are you busy later?"

"No, why? Do you want to do something?" asked Suzaku.

Lelouch nodded, "I was just wondering if you would want to have dinner with Nunnally and me tonight, just ...just the three of us, like it used to be."

"Just the three of us? Suzaku grinned, "I'll love to Lelouch, how's Nunnally these days? I haven't seen her in a while."

"That's your own fault, you always seem to spend all your time with Euphemia these days, whether it's in your spare time or performing your duties as her knight," said Lelouch, casting his eyes upon the ground.

"Oh, I'm sorry Lelouch, I haven't noticed .Does Nunnally miss me? I guess I should apologise to her when I see her."

'_It's not just you that she misses; it's the way things used to be. Everything used to be so good when you weren't dating Euphy,' _Lelouch thought to himself, while feeling the all too familiar waves of sadness wash through his insides.

"Yes, you should apologise to her and to me as well, but I guess you can't help it, Euphy is your girlfriend after all and you are in love with her," said Lelouch.

Lelouch looked up, Suzaku was blushing slightly and there was a happy grin upon his face.

"Yeah, I do love her, I really do." said Suzaku, with happiness in his voice.

Lelouch felt his heart hurting at his friend's words , of course he knew that Suzaku felt that way for Euphy but it still hurt to hear it been said by Suzaku . A smile remained on his face though; he refused to reveal to Suzaku how much the Knight had hurt him.

"That's good, I'm...I'm happy for you, does...does she know?"

"Probably, though I haven't said it to her yet. So how is Nunnally?" said Suzaku, grinning.

"Right, I didn't answer that question, did I? Nunnally is fine Suzaku," said Lelouch, giving a smile back at the teen walking beside him.

"Oh, that's good," Suzaku said.

When they reached the home Lelouch and Nunnally shared, Lelouch let Suzaku inside and then both of the boys went to visit Nunnally and spend some time with her. They found her in the dining room with Sayoko.

"Hey Nunnally," greeted Suzaku when he saw her at the table.

Lelouch saw that once Nunnally heard Suzaku's voice, a frown appeared on her face.

"Suzaku...you're here?" She said her voice quiet.

"Yep, sure am Nunnally, sorry I don't come over much anymore," said Suzaku sitting down at the table after taking off his school bag.

"That's alright, Suzaku," replied Nunnally, her expression unchanging.

Lelouch took off his school bag, put it to one side, went and sat down next to Nunnally.

"Suzaku has been very busy lately Nunnally, with School and his Knight duties and spending time with Euphy," Lelouch said.

Nunnally, moved slightly in her seat and replied, "Onii – sama, how was school today?"

"The student council is planning an event for Valentine's, going by what Milly has explained to us so far it will be very embarrassing," Lelouch said with a smile on his face.

Nunnally smiled, "The things she plans always are, but I'm sure it will be fun even if Milly gets you and Suzaku to dress up in costumes again."

"I hope that doesn't happen though. And how has your day been Nunnally?" said Lelouch.

"Good, Onii – Sama, I learnt some things as well and Sayoko-san taught me how to do some fun Japanese things," Nunnally said a smile on her face.

Suzaku, Lelouch and Nunnally continued to talk to each other, later moving to another room to watch some T.V together. When Nunnally talked to Suzaku she had avoided talking about Euphy, for the sake of Lelouch. She didn't want to talk about topics that she knew was going to hurt her big brother, who was suffering so much because of Euphy's and Suzaku's relationship. When it finally became dark Suzaku decided that he should leave. Before he did so, however, Lelouch asked to speak to him alone.

"Um...Sure, Lelouch," Suzaku said.

Lelouch led Suzaku to another room and stared nervously at Suzaku, during the time that Suzaku had spent with Nunnally and himself tonight he had been planning inside his head a confession. He hoped that this time he would be successful in telling the knight his feelings, unlike so many times before. Lelouch felt that, whether or not Suzaku would return his feelings he had the right to know.

"So what do you want to talk to me about that you can't tell me in front of Sayoko and Nunnally, Lelouch?" Suzaku asked curiously, a smiled on his face as he stared at Lelouch.

Lelouch stared at Suzaku, he took a couple of nervous breaths which did no good at all as it did nothing to take away his nerves and fear.

Lelouch looked into those green eyes, '_I have to tell him,'_ Lelouch thought. _'I have to tell him, he has the right to know, maybe he will start to feel the same.'_

Lelouch closed his eyes and continued to think about his situation to himself _'they're just three words, you idiot! Three small, tiny words. Just say them already, say I love you to Suzaku!' _

Lelouch took another deep breath and opened his eyes, "Suzaku ...I ...I ...Lo-"Lelouch began to say but was cut off at the sound of the door bell.

Lelouch blinked, inwardly cursing whoever had come to visit.

"Excuse me, Suzaku. I will just go and get that, don't go anywhere" Lelouch said with a forced smile on his face.

Suzaku grinned back, "Of course, Lelouch. I'll be right here waiting."

Lelouch nodded and then went to answer the door.

"Yes, what do you want?" Lelouch asked, his eyes narrowing with anger at this person who had dared to interrupt his confession to Suzaku.

Lelouch blinked, there in front of him was a delivery guy from Pizza Hut with about five or six pizzas. Lelouch twitched in anger, he knew exactly who was responsible for this since neither himself or Nunnally or Sayoko had ordered any pizza tonight.

Lelouch paid for the pizzas and brought them inside, he stormed upstairs, past Suzaku and burst open his bedroom door. There was a woman in his room on his bed, with long bright green hair, yellow eyes, a Geass symbol on her forehead and was wearing a strange white outfit.

Lelouch glared at her, "You just ruined an important conversation, C.C." Lelouch informed the woman angrily.

C.C. rolled her eyes and sat up, "Oh well, you'll have other chances, now give me those pizzas," she said, her voice sounding bored.

Lelouch glared at her but put down the boxes of pizzas on the bed. He watched her for a moment as she dug into a Hawaiian pizza, his eyes narrowed in an angry glare. He then went back downstairs, returning to Suzaku who was waiting for him patiently though Lelouch saw Suzaku press a button on a cell phone.

"I'm sorry about that Suzaku," Lelouch said.

Suzaku smiled, "That's alright Lelouch. Hey, do you mind if you tell me that thing that you were going to tell me another day? It's just that I got a call just now from Cecile from work, they made some modifications to the Lancelot and they want me to try it out."

"No, of course I don't mind Suzaku, I'll see you tomorrow at school." Lelouch said, forcing a smile.

"Great, so I'll see you tomorrow Lelouch," said Suzaku grinning.

Suzaku then left, leaving Lelouch to stare after the other teen in disappointment.

"Damn it! I couldn't say it to him!" Lelouch said out loud.

He gave a sigh. "I doubt he would have accepted me anyway," muttered Lelouch sadly to himself.

Lelouch went back upstairs to check up on Nunnally. He helped her into bed, and made sure that she didn't need anything. After Lelouch did that, he checked that Sayoko was still in the house to take care of Nunnally and then got ready to lead the Black Knights in the rebellion.


End file.
